Positive Self-talk and Why it Matters? - Kashish K.
“Humans are storytellers. It is our nature to make up stories, to interpret everything we perceive. Without awareness, we give our personal power to the story and the story writes itself. With awareness, we recover the control of our story. We see we are the authors and if we don't like our story, we change it.”
― Miguel Ruiz
Self-talk is the constant voice in your head that affirms or refutes every decision you make. Words are the most powerful tool we have as humans. They’re a double-edged sword with the potential of changing minds and influencing people. Hitler managed to sprout seeds of fear and cause massive destruction simply by the power of his words. Capable of such strong influence, it is important you choose these words carefully, especially when you are directing them to your own selves; it is important to adopt positive self-talk.
Most people have a habit of bullying and treating themselves in a way they wouldn’t even treat their worst enemies. They believe becoming your own worst critic is the only way to achieve success. However, research shows that if you are self-critical, you’re less likely to be resilient in the face of challenges. Putting a stop to this negative self-talk and adopting a positive one can enhance your performance and general well-being. It has been observed to have a positive effect on athletes' performance by increasing their confidence and motivation. Positive self-talk can also help in greater levels of happiness, more productivity, improved immune function, and most importantly, less stress and anxiety.
If you blame yourself for everything, expect the worst from a situation, or see the world in black and white, you may have negative thinking patterns. Observing your negative self-talk is necessary before you can convert it into positive self-talk. Some of the methods to achieve the same are as follows:
1. Show yourself as much compassion as you would to a friend: For example, if a friend fails, you will not beat them up or bully them. You would calmly tell them, “Making mistakes is okay, everyone does that. It’s not a big deal. You’ll come out of this stronger.” It only makes sense to address yourself the same way.
2. Use the power of daily affirmations: Sometimes it’s hard to believe certain things from the depths of your self-hatred. Saying positive affirmations to yourself or writing them down in a journal daily can help you eventually reprogram your mindset and remove negative beliefs.
3. Choose your company wisely: You don’t want to surround yourselves with negative people, since it is a human tendency to absorb other people’s emotions pretty quickly and make their beliefs your own.
4. Journaling: Regular journaling can help you identify the roots of your self-talk and make some sense out of it. Once you can identify the cause of the negative self-talk, you can let yourself eradicate it.
Additionally, researchers have found that it’s not just about what you say to yourself, but the language you use matters, too. When practicing self-talk, don’t refer to yourself in the first person. Instead, refer to yourself in the third person, using “he” or “she,” or refer to yourself by name. This will allow you to step back and think more objectively about your response and emotions.
Banishing the inner critic and having kinder conversations with yourself will take time and practice. It is important to show yourself compassion during this process as well. If nothing works, and the noise in your head remains overpowering, seeking counseling is highly recommended.
“Be impeccable with your word.”
― Miguel Ruiz